Upcoming: Terminator 5

Good God. Another 2015 blockbuster?

'Fraid so and by the looks of it, it's going to be a year of sequels the likes of which haven't been seen since 2011. Terminator 5 will be premiering June 26th, 2015 and yes, it is real. All we know so far about Terminator 5 (which is a working title) is that Arnold Schwarzenegger will indeed play an active role. This of course is great news after he was dismally absent from the previous film, Terminator: Salvation, save for a singular cameo appearence during a fight scene in which he still had no dialogue. Besides Arnold, not much is known about the actual casting apart from a plethora of rumors, some of which stating that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson might even have some involvement which is disconcerting news to me seeing as he usually goes for the more explosion-happy kind of shit...

But really, not much is actually known about the movie. We know that Megan Ellison, who worked on Zero Dark Thirty, will be producing and Laeta Kalogrdis and Patrick Lussier who worked on Shutter Island and Drive Angry (respectively) will be scripting the movie. One of those writer's names makes me happy and the other makes me worried that my fears about Dwayne are real.

But here's the really interesting bit, Terminator 5 will not continue where the previous one left off. No-no. Rather it will be a reboot of some sort and will be the first in a whole new trilogy. Now, I can certainly see remaking the first Terminator movie as it's definitely dated after all these years, but if those guys over in Hollywood think they can remake T2 and 3, not only are they insane, they're stupid. Why? Well, the second Terminator movie, unlike the first, has aged beautifully and remaking it is completely unnecessary. Besides that, not only is the third Terminator movie only ten years old, nobody fucking liked it to begin with.

This leads me to believe that the filmmakers aren't planning on remaking all three movies, but rather maybe kicking off a whole new story that will star different characters. I actually kind of like that idea and I think that if it's handled with grace, intelligence and care (like the first two installments), it could actually be a pretty promising film. Besides, I think just seeing the now 66 year-old Arnold back in the role as the emotionless killing machine that we all know and love will be a treat in of itself.

2015 now has Terminator 5 thrown into the mix as well as the recently announced Independence Day 2. It's going to be a fucking madhouse at the theatre seeing as all of these movies are launching at the same time (Terminator 5 is one week after Assassin's Creed). Great. I can't wait to go completely broke paying for movie tickets.

Monsters University

The latest Pixar film, Monsters University released three days ago and has made $137 million to date. I named it one of my anticipated films of 2013 and I just saw it two nights ago.

First things first, with every Pixar movie, there is also a Pixar short (a tradition of theirs that has been going on since the very beginning). The short that accompanied Monsters University was called The Blue Umbrella and was one of the cutest things I've ever seen in my life. Technically speaking, it was also one of the most incredible. Over the course of it's five minutes running time (give or take), it had some of the most exquisite animation I've ever seen. I'd say, one of the better short films by Pixar.

Now about the movie itself. I'll admit, it was something of a let down, knowing that Pixar was doing another sequel. Cars 2, from a few years prior, was probably their worst film so, knowing that, I was worried that this movie would be a similar case.

I was wrong.

Monsters University is a near perfect film and I loved it. The two returning protagonists, Mike Wazowski and James "Sully" Sullivan are reprised by Billy Crystal and John Goodman, respectively. Those two actors are just as good as ever. You can never really go wrong with either of them and they do a great job in the roles. Another familiar face is Randal who goes by Randy in this film and is played by Steve Buscemi. He's good and is just as much a dick as he was in the first film but he's not actually involved in the main plot much and doesn't get a lot of screen time (not to say that's a good or bad thing).

Pixar's main appeal is generally in it's creativity and charm. The whole idea that monsters antagonize children because kid screams are the source of energy to power their world, is an amazingly clever idea and I love the way the whole thing is industrialized and made into a science. That's all still present in this prequel but it's an idea we've already been introduced to, so saying it's really original isn't really accurate.

The first scene shows Mike as a child touring Monsters Inc., the power plant from the first movie and has a run in with Jim from The Office, a scarer who inspires Mike to pursue scaring, which becomes his lifelong dream. Mike and Sully both attend a university in the hopes they will become scarers someday. Mike is a geek who gets every question right, aces every test and always has his nose in the books. Sully is a legacy, an obvious stoner, hangs out with the cool kids and doesn't try worth shit because he assumes his name means he can get everything handed to him. There's a very funny line where he first enters the class room on the first day and asks the kid next to him if he can borrow a pencil because he, "forgot all my stuff..."

The two end up hating each other and form a rivalry. It's all fun and games until the final rolls around and, suffice it to say, they both end up screwing the pooch big-time and get kicked out of class. Their only hope of redemption, is to win a big scaring event where teams of scarers compete against each other in order to determine who's the best of the best. Mike and Sully, besides having to work together with each other, also have to resort to teaming up with a frat called Oozma Kappa, aka, the losers.

That purple one looks like he belongs in Yo-Gabba-Gabba.

Monsters University, isn't quite as charming as most of Pixar's other films, but what it lacks there, it makes up for in it's funny factor. The movie is absolutely hilarious and had everyone in the theatre laughing out loud multiple times with humor that appeals to both kids and adults. It's definitely one of Pixar's funnier movies.

This movie is also pretty funny in it's college life aspect. There's a scene where the cool frat throws a party and a careful eye would be able to catch the many "mysterious" red-Dixie cups littering the shots. A little joke none of the kids would get. There's even a whole .edu website Pixar made in order to make it seem more authentic.

http://monstersuniversity.com/edu/

All of the characters are likable and unique, including the "villains". While I do like the antagonists, I wish that they played a more active role, the movie sort of lacks a strong bad guy.

This movie does suffer somewhat from being predictable more than once. Yeah, it's a kid's movie but there were too many times where I could guess what was about to happen. In spite of that, the last scenes of the movie, not only had me at the peak of my interest but really threw me for a loop and I never could've predicted what had happened.

So, yeah, great movie that exceeded my expectations. Probably one of the better films this year.

9.5/10 - Great.

Upcoming: Assassin's Creed

Holy. Fucking. Shit

This is it. It's real. It's happening. I can't even contain my elation.

According to venturebeat.com, digitaltrends.com, joystiq.com, the official AC wikia, IMDB, polygon.com, IGN, Gameinformer, cinemablend.com, denofgeek.com and countless others, an Assassin's Creed movie has indeed been confirmed by Ubisoft and is slated for a release on May 22, 2015 (and yes, I had to go to that many sites to be sure).

While my expectations for this movie, like any videogame movie, will be low, my hopes for it are in outer-space and will soon be the first human vessel to land on Saturn.

The starring role will be played by Michael Fassbender, who seems to be getting quite a bit of attention on this site as of late. For those of you just tuning in, he's one of the stars from Prometheus. Rumor has it that he'll be playing Desmond but rumor is rumor so in reality he could be anyone. Fassbender is also producing, which should be interesting, Michael Lesslie, writer of Prince of Denmark, will be doing the screenplay and the movie is being distributed by New Regency and Fox. Other than that, not much is actually known. No director has been announced and it's likely that the release date will change considering Disney is looking to shit out Star Wars: VII on that same weekend.

The few images I've seen of the film don't look very promising. Some asshole standing in Ezio garb in front of a green-screen. One thing I really think would kill this movie faster than a cyanide pill would be over-killing it with the CG. Assassin's Creed has always thrived on believability and realism (more or less) so a gritty Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones inspired look would be the way to go. Not to mention, we've already seen Assassin's Creed done with digital effects, it'd be nice to see it in real life.

Furthermore the fact that the actor there is wearing Ezio's clothing means the movie is going to A) only briefly glaze over the Altair timeline, B) be very rushed to cram multiple games into two hours of film or C) have a severely modified story. Knowing videogame movie adaptations, my guess would be the latter of those options but my hope is for the first seeing as that sounds like the least terrible.

With two long years between us and Assassin's Creed, there will certainly be more news that I will certainly be reporting on. With The Avengers 2, Pirates of the Caribbean 5, The Hunger Games: Mockingay Part 2, Star Wars: VII, The Hobbit: There and Back Again,  Prometheus 2 and now Assassin's Creed, it looks like 2015 is going to be a busy fucking year. Let's get excited.

Upcoming: Godzilla

Last year, Godzilla fans were treated to a nice albeit, painfully brief Godzilla teaser trailer at Comic-Con 2012. A Godzilla reboot is currently already in production over in Canada. With the massive 1998 shit-stain that is known as the American Godzilla under our belts, I'm wary knowing that the western hemisphere wants another go at getting the ancient behemoth under reins but what I've seen of the movie so far seems promising.

For starters, Gareth Edwards, who is largely unknown but did work on 2010's Monsters, is in the director seat and according to him the movie will be a direct reboot of the original 1954 classic of the same name. Besides that, any information on the script or setting is being kept under lock and key.

Also very promising information is the cast, the lead actor being none other than...

Bryan fuckin' Cranston. You all know him as, Walt from Breaking Bad. If you watched that show, then you already know that he's the man. Combine that with the fact that the movie is being handled by Legendary Pictures and you can forget any fear that this will be anything short of a blockbuster.

Another thing to get the fan-base excited, Edwards assures us all that there will certainly be some monster battles. Godzilla is going to kick some Ghidorah ass (nothing has actually been confirmed as far as the rival monster, but there's no harm in crossing my fingers). Edwards has also dropped hints that the military will be just as feeble as ever,  so no worrying that we'll have a '98 repeat where Godzilla is stopped by some petty, mortal missiles.

Some other things that Edwards has hinted is that the movie will be just as philosophical as the '54 version, which served as a warning of the destructive power of nuclear weaponry. So that should be a nice intellectual touch.

I'm pretty damn excited. With the release date set at 2014, it looks like we'll have a lot to look forward to.

Upcoming: Prometheus 2

The rumors have been confirmed. After the mild success of Prometheus just one year ago, Prometheus 2 has been announced and while we don't yet know much about it, we do know that Ridley Scott is returning to write the story. Despite that kernel of hope for the film, it's unfortunate that he has not (yet) officially signed on as the director and whether or not he may do so is still up in the air.

One person we know will almost certainly not be returning is Damon Lindelof, the official writer of Prometheus, not to mention Lost, saying that he's not willing to commit to that kind of work. In his place, it is rumored that Jack Paglen, writer for the upcoming sci-fi movie, Transcendence, will be there. What has been confirmed that Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender, two actors who played Elizabeth Shaw and David, respectively, will be reprising their roles in this direct sequel.

So besides all of that technical business, what do we know about the movie itself? Unfortunately, we know nothing aside from these couple of images which may or may not even be affiliated with the movie at all. As it stands, the movie is still far from production.

My only worry for the film so far is my doubt. I'm a little concerned that it may be too soon to dive head-first into another sequel. With the Alien franchise, there's typically a ten-year division between installments, whereas Prometheus 2 will likely see release in 2015. I'm not sure how I feel about that and it makes me wary that Fox is rushing it and that Ridley Scott will be taking on too much too fast. Also a concern of mine, there was a lot of upheaval towards the first movie that it raised too many questions. I think most people were expecting a summer blockbuster of sorts but what they got was deeply intellectual and prodded at the meanings behind life, evolution and God. I loved it and I wish more movies would go for that mind-bending style. So why am I concerned? Prometheus only garnered mild success, around $400 million to be precise, on it's $130 million budget. That makes me fearful that Fox will want Scott to sensationalize and dumb it down for a broader audience. Where was all of the gore and the aliens and the explosions? I'm pretty confident in Scott and he seems confident in the story, so perhaps these concerns are unfounded but you never know...

Scott said in an interview that this sort of thing takes a lot of time and that he's in no way trying to rush the project. While many people will find that agonizing to hear, I find it reassuring. It means that careful work is being put into the story, they're not just trying to find ways to make a sequel work (let's resurrect Michael Myers again!), because, honestly, when I saw Prometheus, I didn't think a sequel would be possible. Apparently it is, but God forbid, I just don't want it to be forced.

With no official release date and a lack of a full crew, don't expect Prometheus 2 to launch for awhile. I just hope that's a working title and they call it something different.

Prometheus 2: Prometheus Harder

Good Game

Are MLG's taking it too far?

The short answer is yes, but that wouldn't be quality writing, now would it?

MLG stands for Major League Gaming and, in the world of video games, it's a self proclaimed title that essentially means, "I'm better than you." As much as that sounds like a humbling experience, all that equates to is a 17-year-old boasting loudly over his Turtle-Beach microphone before telling his mother that he'll take the trash out later. These are the people who rage-quit just before the game ends in order to keep their scores high, count their K/Ds (kill/death ratio) and proudly come in at the top of the leader-board at the end of every match. Instead of rightfully pointing out that MLGs are virgins riddled with inferiority complexes, I'm going to spend this article debating whether or not the idea of taking gaming to the next level is justified.

The way to start would be to ask the question, why does gaming exist? The answer is different to every person. For some it's for competition, for others it's for socialization and for still others it's for fetishists who like looking at pictures of skanks who can't figure out how to come in a place better than 12th while playing Zelda.

Save Hyrule harder.

Looking at it that way, there's really no true answer to the question, "why do we game?" only a plethora of opinions. I would say that it's a combination of everything. We play games for the same reason we watch a movie. To get away from real life for a few hours, enjoy a story and be social. It's recreational and we need that because all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

That being said, what does it mean when you play a video game like it's your job? From what I've seen, MLGs don't seem to like the games they play; they boot up Call of Duty, get on a server,  get one kill and quit. Hooray for positive K/D. What part of what I described sounded like recreation, socializing, story or, fuck, even competitive play? There are people who do this sort of thing and for what? So some guy like me can randomly pull up the stats for xXLe3tSn1p3rXx and think to myself, 'wow, he's pretty good at this game', before closing it and then forgetting you ever even existed? There are thousands of people out there with scores just as good as yours if not better. Who are you trying to impress?

No you fucking don't.

I'm sorry, but doing that is like watching movies on 10X speed or sprinting through an art gallery. Any asshole can do what I just described, it doesn't make you good at video games. Yeah, I'll admit that most MLGs don't do that kind of thing, but think, where does it end?

You see, Major League Gaming isn't a hobby, it's a full time job. Do you think that when you finally have the best score in the world you can just hang up your coat and say, 'well, I did it, time to move on.'? Fuck no. If you have any intention on staying there for more than an hour, you've got to keep playing or else, guess what, you're going to get bumped down. People who are consistently in the top spot don't have scores that are just so high, no one can ascend past them, they just play constantly and I mean constantly. One of the former CoD champs, Kim Dotcom, creator of Mega-upload, got put in prison for a few days and his scores never recovered. Once again, I ask the question, who are you trying to impress? Do you think that people are going to be crowding around their televisions, looking at your score, mouths agape, trying to memorize your gamertag so they can whisper it between each other? It doesn't make you a celebrity.

Oh, wait, never-mind. It totally does make you a celebrity.

So am I against competitive gaming? Absolutely not. I think competition is a great source of recreation because it's challenging, gives you something to work towards (winning) and rewards you if you succeed. It's certainly fun proudly flaunting your exclusive, unlocked armor to all of your friends. That's one thing. But in the bigger picture, no one is going to care. There certainly was a time when people online would marvel at your Recon but those days have come and gone (2007-2010 you will be missed). 

Now you're essentially the in-game equivalent of a swag-fag.

No one online is going to care that you're a higher rank than they are. So is every fifth person they come across so stop putting out so much effort to impress people you're never going to meet.

When an MLG enters a competitive game, everyone in the lobby breathes an exasperated sigh because your enemies know that they're going to lose horrendously, your teammates know that you're going to lone-wolf and steal every kill in the game and everyone knows they're going to have to put up with your bragging and swearing.

You don't keep scores when you watch movies, read books, or go out to an art gallery. Those are all forms of art and I believe gaming can be art too. Why should we bring that into the artistic world? It's pointless and it's no fun for anyone. There's nothing wrong with being competitive, hell, I don't even see anything wrong with those big gaming conventions where basement dwellers have an excuse to open up a stick of deodorant and go outside once every year or so. I simply abhor the whole idea that gaming should be work. "Game", by definition, is literally the farthest away from "Work" you can possibly get so stop mixing the two. Let's all plug in to have fun and at the end, we'll all pat each other on the back and say, "good game".

The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin in the Woods is a movie that came out in 2011, got all kinds of critical attention and had a lot of people talking. Despite that, I didn't see it until last night when I found it on Netflix. Pretty much all of the rumors came to be true.

The Cabin in the Woods tells you everything you need to know right in the title. It's the classic Evil Dead inspired flick (In fact, I'm fairly certain that it's the exact same cabin). A bunch of kids go out into the woods and die. Despite how clear cut it's deceptively simple title may sound, The Cabin in the Woods is anything but your run-of-the-mill horror film.

It's hard to talk about this movie without giving it away, which is why this review is so brief. It's gotten a lot of positive rave reviews from critics and it made an insane $66.5 billion off of it's $30 million budget. What I can say is that this praise is not unfounded. The Cabin in the Woods seeks to turn the entire horror genre on it's head and takes wild turns while boasting enough dark humor to keep any twisted mind satisfied. While the movie plays on classic horror cliches, it's so incredibly different that it comes off like nothing I've ever seen before. Mandatory for any horror fan, you'll certainly never watch a horror movie the same way again.

10/10 - Mandatory