The People Under the Stairs

Do I have a strange one for you, today...

I recently decided I was going to start watching the alleged 100 greatest horror movies of all time. I figured it'd be simple enough considering I'd already seen about half of them. The movie was listed as number 97 was The People Under the Stairs. Now, I've seen some weird movies in my day.

Pic related

And while I can't say that this takes the cake, it's certainly up there. Oh, yeah, I'm going to ruin this whole movie in the process, but trust me, you're not going to care. The movie starts by showing us a very bad neighborhood that is being crushed under it's heavy landlord taxation. The main character, "Fool" as he's called, lives here.

Fool.

Pretty early into the film we're introduced to the landlords, the Robesons who are only referred to otherwise as Daddy and Mommy. They seem like pretty bad people at first, but aw hell, you have no idea until the movie starts going.

So anyway, Fool and two other guys, Leroy and Spenser get in a car and drive to these asshole's house to give them a piece of their mind. They turn Leroy away immediately but Spenser gets in. Soon after Fool and Leroy see the Robesons leaving so Leroy breaks in. Fool ventures off into the basement which looks more like a masochists dungeon, finds Spenser dead on the floor and a whole bunch of zombie like people running around. The Robesons come home and Daddy shoots Leroy while Fool takes to the labyrinth-like walls. This may be a good time to point out that Daddy wears full dominatrix a lot.

And no, they don't say anything about it.

So, Fool meets the Robeson's daughter, Alice, who is boarder-line tortured by Mommy and Daddy. There's a scene where Mommy throws her into a scalding hot bath and whatever... I don't really even know why they bother with a kid. Well, she tells him that those freaky zombies are just Mommy and Daddy's bad kids who have resorted to cannibalism. Alice avoided that fate by following all the rules. Well, eventually Fool has to run again and he meets the escapee, Roach, who is a kid who had his tongue cut out.

He looks like this.

He makes absurd moaning sounds all the time. It makes me feel like a bad person for laughing.

Well, Daddy sics the dog on Fool and yadda yadda. Fool eventually manages to escape the house by jumping from the attic to the pond, but Alice is left behind so he promises to return. When he gets home, his grandfather tells him about how Mommy and Daddy are actually siblings with benefits. Which I guess explains the (ahem) "special" children of theirs. When Fool comes back Alice tells him that now the pond is drained and filled with glass, passageways have been closed off, and the house is wired to explode. Y'know, normal shit.

Fool gets captured and tied in the basement. Daddy has some, fucked up acid pit or something that he throws dead bodies into. We get to watch him, I don't know what he's doing, gutting Leroy or something? Daddy eats some scraps off of him before dropping him into the acid pit. Fool manages to escape and whatnot and gets chased around by Daddy who corners him but is saved by the doorbell (see what I did there?). Daddy opens the door and it's the ghetto people bitching about the crushing rent and shit like that.

Turns out, they all had AIDS as well.

Fool runs back to the basement where he is guided by The People Under the Stairs into a vault with shit tons of money and shit tons of dynamite. Meanwhile in the kitchen, Alice stabs the hell out of Mommy, slits her throat and The People Under the Stairs EAT HER. Awesome.

Daddy corners Fool again but Fool hits the dynamite switch and Daddy is blown back into the acid pit and dies by one of the more preferable methods...

Money goes errywhere and all the ghetto people rejoice. The end.

This summarization doesn't do it justice, it's just an odd, odd movie. I think one of the reasons I find it so strange is because it was made by a mainstream horror director, the legendary Wes Craven, famous for movies such as Scream and The Last House On the Left. I also find it strange that it was listed as one of the greatest horror movies of all time. Who the hell thought that made sense? The acting is bad, the plot is wut. The whole movie just gives me a weird feeling in my stomach, I don't know what it is...

I guess if you want a horror movie that's different, and I mean different, The People Under the Stairs is the movie for you.

4/10 - You Might Like it, But Only if You're Into Some Weird Shit (Probably Not).

The Other Guys

This is a movie that came out a while back

I recall seeing the poster when I went to see Toy Story 3, (along with Predators which was one of the trailers oddly enough). I didn't think it would be anything I'd remember, y'know, just another movie. I did not go to see it in the theatre, but I did watch it soon after it came out on DVD.

And oh, boy...

Suffice it to say, I died.

The movie is basically explained in the title. Will Ferrel and Marky-Mark Whalberg are two cops in NYC... well, cop my not be the right term. They're the pencil pushing nobodies. They never go out on the field. The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson play two extraordinarily badass police men, who get into unnecessarily and ridiculously over-the-top car chases. They are the amazing heros everyone knows about and Will, who plays Detective Allen Gamble, and Mark, who plays Detective Terry Hoitz, are just the other guys. (See what I did there?)

The hot-tempered Terry has been stuck with Allen since he shot Derek Jeter at the World Series and receives little to no respect among the other detectives. Not giving anything away here, but somewhere along the lines, Terry and Allen get the chance to investigate a scaffolding permit violation. Sounds exciting? Well, they manage to uncover a plot by a wealthy businessman Erschon who is trying to cover his losses. And from there it only gets more and more insane.

This is kind of a hard movie to talk about because I want to convey how great it is without ruining it.

Mark Whalberg and Will Ferral are fucking hilarious in this movie. They way they interact is great. Terry is always flipping off the hook and yelling at Allen for being too happy or something, and Allen is so dorky, the way he goes about dealing with it is just as funny.

There are quite a few scenes in this that seem to serve no purpose at all, which would normally be a complaint, but in this movie it just somehow works amazingly. There's a short scene where Allen and Terry get wasted and fuck up a bar. And then right after it's like, back to the movie!

The humor in this movie is pretty unpredictable and is devoid of cliche. There are so many comedies out there that are just recycling used jokes, but The Other Guys is unique and doesn't fade in with the crowd.

Because I don't want to ruin it, I won't say anything more. I loved it. You'll love it. This is hands down, the best comedy to come out in the previous decade.

9/10 - Very Good. Be Sure to Catch It.

Another Message to My Non-Existant Fanbase

So, I will be instigating some changes to this useless blog from here on out.

It's 2013 and it's time to change!

First and most important change is that this blog is now a media-based blog. So, I'll be posting almost entirely about movies, along with anime, video games, whatever else, but mostly movies. Yeah, my non-existant viewers probably won't notice a difference.

Why, thank you, I thought so myself.

Another obvious change is the fact that the text is now in the center!

Isn't it?

From here on out I will be utilizing a rating system. The system works like this:

1. Avoid This movie at All Costs

2. Don't Bother

3. Meh

4. You Might Like it, but Probably Not

5. Just Your Average Film

6. Might Be Worth Your Time

7. Actually Pretty Good

8. Recommended

9. Very Good. Be Sure to Catch it

10. Amazing. Do Not Miss This Movie

That's similar to what you'd see at the end of every review, but I'll go into a more in depth explanation about what I mean for each one, so there's no confusion.

10.

Awesome. Not only is this movie without flaw but it goes above and beyond and polishes it to perfection. Everything is perfect and it tells a very compelling and very engaging story. A great example of how a movie should be. Certainly one of the best movies to come out this year and I'll probably buy it and watch it many times over. If you don't see this movie, you're missing out.

9.

A very good movie. No flaws to speak of anywhere. Very enjoyable, memorable, I liked it a lot. An engaging plot, great acting, great everything. I highly recommend this movie and I'll definitely want to see it again at some point.

8.

A pretty solid film. Definitely a good movie. I was pleased with it, I enjoyed it. There may be a few things that I didn't like or were annoying, but those can be discounted because it's just a real good movie. Well done.

7.

Pretty good. I liked it. Definitely a flawed movie but they're not enough to detract seriously from the film. I would recommend it to someone and I may even watch it again.

6.

An alright movie. I enjoyed it and all, but it didn't leave an impression on me. I'm probably going to forget about it after while and it's probably not worth sharing. I might recommend it to someone, but I probably won't.

5.

This movie had a lot of potential, but there are too many things bringing it down for it to be enjoyable. If it had been handled better, it would've been a pretty memorable film but they fucked it all up and it's kind of a mess.

4.

Overall, just okay. It was a good try, but most of the movie sucked. Not only are there are major things bringing this movie down, but I sort of doubt that it ever had a chance to be good in the first place.

3.

Just a bad movie. There may have been a scene or two I enjoyed, or a character I liked but other than that just a crap fest. I don't recommend it at all.

2.

Essentially, no redeeming qualities at all. Bad through and through. There's not one single thing in this movie that brings it up. It's so bad that I wasn't even entertained and was hoping the credits would start rolling at the end of every scene.

1.

Not only does this movie have not a single redeeming quality to speak of, it goes beyond that and applies every last thing that I hate in a movie. Not only is it terrible by a observatory standpoint, but it is an example in every way of just how bad cinema can be, it's very existence is a stain on movie history and bodes poorly for the future of cinema. Everyone involved in this movie should be ashamed and should not be allowed to work on anything ever again. A terrible awful film that I will often reference as an example of everything that shouldn't be done in a movie.

Yup.

I think that's it. I'll keep making reviews and countdown posts because people tend to like them. I do hope that my non-existant fanbase enjoys the changes.

Stop.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I went to see this movie last night

I opted to watch it in IMAX which, I admit, was a mistake because it was really dizzying the whole time. 3D tends to make my head spin, impressive as it is. People often bitch about movies being released in 3D. Why? I like that fact that that's coming back. Makes me think that the theatre will continue to be like it was. Oh, I'm off topic again. You want to hear about The Hobbit, right? Okay, I haven't yet read any reviews of it, so I'm not sure my opinion is popular or not, but I'm going to voice my honest-to-God reaction to the film. Let's begin.

The absolute first thing I noticed was the frame rate. I had heard that it boasted an impressive 48 per-second and you can instantly tell. I hated it. It makes the movie look "too real." It destroys the cinematic quality and feels more like a play or a behind-the-scenes sort of thing. It distracted me the whole time. This is an aggravating trend that's becoming more prevalent. New televisions often have a feature that makes the movie look this way. I always tried to point it out to people, but most don't notice it. Thankfully, you can turn it off, but you sure can't when you're in the theatre.

The first twenty minutes or so, feels more like the trailer for the next Elder-Scrolls game than it does a Lord of the Rings movie, but it serves it's purpose as a bookend that gives the backstory, without which woud make the movie rather confusing.

Despite the return of familiar sets, actors and score, the movie would stick out like a sore thumb when compared to the other three. Not because of it's plot, but because of it's style. First of all, EVERYTHING is CG, which is disappointing albeit not surprising. The first three used CG correctly. Obviously, you can't go build a giant tower with a flaming eye in the center, and you don't want to hire ten-thousand extras for just a few shots of the army. That being said, most of orcs and goblins that were shown close up, were people in costume and makeup. It gives the movie a much more authentic and organic look that I was greatly upset to find the new film void of. Did you know that during the first three films, rather than digitally edit the hobbits in to look smaller, the film crew built perspective shifting set pieces? When you thought Frodo was sitting right next to Gandalf he was actually sitting like this:

And one scene around a dinner table involved a partial camera circle, so they built a table that would shift and transform as the camera moved so that the hobbits would stay small and you wouldn't notice a thing. Too bad all they do now is digitize Gandalf into the frame.

I felt like I was watching a Disney version of the francise I've come to love over the years. Much of what happens seems so family friendly and cutesy. Most of then enemies are funny rather than scary, like what they used to be. Case in point, remember the trolls from the first three. Those guys were terrifying. Whenever a troll stepped out onto the battlefield, it meant trouble. They roared and killed everything in sight.

Now the trolls are bumbling doofuses that pick their noses are argue amongst each other. They look like this:

That seems strange seeing as how the other films were pushing the PG-13 as far as they could (there was a rumor that Return of the King would be re-rated R at one point).

Having said all of that, I think the best thing the movie has going for it is it's cast. I love every character. The dwarves are as hilarious as they are interesting and the young Bilbo is easy to latch on to as the lead character for the new trilogy. But the one who steals the show is Ian Mckellen as Gandalf. He's a lovable as he is wise and still cracks his occasional dry-humor quips.

My favorite scene is the part where Bilbo meets Gollum in the cave. Gollum is as intriguing as ever, arguing with himself and narrating everything he does. He makes Bilbo play him in a game of riddles over weather or not he should show him the way out. It's a great scene.

Despite it's perks, I didn't care for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Gone was the atmosphere and thrills of the originals, gone was the painstaking attention to detail and gone was the adult target audience. It's just not what it used to be. I was enormously disappointed considering how long I waited for this movie ("What?! December of 2012?!") If you expect this movie to be anything like the other ones, like I did, you're going to be sorely disappointed. I think it wasn't a bad idea to take the series in a new direction, but this I disagree with. The first three were already so unique and this new one feels like a run-of-the-mill fantasy movie. I'm sorry, fans of the series but it looks like our true return to Middle Earth will have to be postponed.

6/10 - Might Be Worth Your Time For Curiosity's Sake.

Shit Gamers Don't Say

I doubt this guy is using modded controls

Call of Duty has such a mature audience.

This server has really great connection!

ALRIGHT! MORE DLC!

PC gamers are so modest…

Wow! None of these guys know my mom.

Y'know that guy really deserved that kill.

No, that wasn't lag, it was me.

Goldeneye is so overrated.

That game based movie was really well done!

Playing with 12 year olds is such an interesting experience.

EA is basically my favorite publisher.

Steam just has the worst deals.

I think TF2 needs fewer hats.

Console TF2 is way better.

I'm a Sony and I appreciate Halo.

Man, Bethesda's quality has gone way down.

343 is really taking Halo in a good direction.

Really? ANOTHER new graphics engine?

This game was TOTALLY worth pre-ordering.

She doesn't have to make you a sandwich if she doesn't want to.

Guys, we should stratagize on this next Call of Duty match.

This game needs more lone-wolfers.

I didn't pirate any of these PC games.

Oh, man the game froze… good thing I just saved.

I don't think we need another GTA or Elder Scrolls game.

Dude, app gaming is the way to go.

I'm all out of Mountain Dew!

Dude, E3 was so good this year.

Hey! Don't blow in the cartridge, it says not to!

I don't think Silent Hill is scary enough.

I don't think Dead Space is gory enough.

They really changed a lot with this Call of Duty game.

Hey! That's not fair! He's probably in the bathroom or something!

Maybe we should go outside?

My Beef With Remakes

Does my non-existant fanbase remember that time I ranted about sequels?

I seem to recall promising a post about remakes at some point, right? Of course I'm right; I'm just humoring you. Anyway! How I feel about remakes is sort of similar to how I feel about sequels, so that should make for a shorter post. Lucky you, non-existant reader! Okay then. Let's crack this topic open, shall we?

The first thing to ask yourself when dealing with a remake

Is is necessary? Here's what commonly happens with remakes. Filmakers look at the old movie and play it safe by simply rebooting it with up-to-date special effects. That's what I'm against. What's the point of doing that? If you want to expand on a movie, by all means, I'd rather see a sequel than a fucking remake, i.e. the same movie again. Why should I go to the theatre to see a movie I've already seen? It's one thing when doing a remake to borrow from the original, in fact there are a few cases where remakes suffer from being too drastically different from the original.

Ahem

But of course, I'm probably making no sense at all, so I'll go and fetch an example of both for you.

You've seen this movie right? The Thing From Another World, or just The Thing released in 1951 is a movie about explorers at the North Pole who discover alien life. It's based on the book Who Goes There by John W. Campbell Jr. published in 1938 (there's some trivia for ya). It's a great movie. That acting is top notch and it's suspenseful despite not being the most original idea. Just over 30 years later, John Carpenter blesses the human race with:

Now, if you haven't seen this movie and you're reading my blog, you're making a mistake. Promptly turn off your computer, find this film and prepare your nerves for what the tagline promises. This is the quintessential well-done remake. This movie is everything I want to see in a remake. John Carpenter had a lot of respect for the original movie, and while this isn't technically a remake, I don't give a shit, I'm going to call it one because it uses the same name. Unlike the first film, this one is much more true to the novel. The beast, rather than plodding along, aimlessly, hides inside it's victims before horrifically revealing itself in top-of-the-line, show-stopping special effects. Keep in mind while you're watching it that everything you see on screen was captured directly on camera. A sort of dying art, if you ask me, but that's for another time. After seeing this movie, I never thought I'd see another one, but sure enough...

I honestly couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this poster. How could this be? I'll admit, the trailer blew my mind and I thought it was a decent film at best, but still, why even make this? Of course, this producer is obsessed with remakes. As you may have noticed above the title, he is responsible for the Dawn of the Dead remake (which was actually not bad) along with classics such as Slither, The Last Exorcism, Bring it on Again (really?) and the soon-to-arrive Robocop remake.

Why, God, why?

This movie is the quintessential bad remake. All it is, is a total reboot of the 1982 version. And who expected it not to be? It's not like it couldn't of been. Of course it isn't technically a remake of the 1982 version... dammit, I didn't want to get technical like this but, I'll explain what I'm talking about. The 1982 version, The Thing is technically a sequel to the first. They find footage from the first expedition which was what the first movie was about, and the first infected host is from the first expedition as well. Now, the 2011 The Thing remake is not actually a remake of the 1982 The Thing, but rather a prequel and is technically a remake of the 1951 The Thing instead. This would all be a whole lot fucking easier to wrap my head around if they weren't all titled the same fucking thing. Speaking of which, I should take a moment to say that I was very much against naming the 2011 version of The Thing, 'The Thing.' Why name it something that's been used twice? It works for the '82 version seeing as how that was the first remake but for this one it just complicates things. Why not call it Who Goes There after the original novel? That's a hell of a lot creepier than The Thing. But I'm getting way off topic here. The point is... what was the point again? Oh, right! This movie has no purpose to exist. All it did was take the '82 movie and give it CGI which, in my humble opinion, actually looks worse than the '82 version which had no such crutch.

See that? I think that may actually be good. The first one by now, does feel pretty dated. My hope is, and I know that it won't be like this but, that it won't be a total reboot. Maybe have the classic "WOLVERINES" or the "AVENGE ME!" scenes, but I don't want to see Red Dawn rebooted.

I think something should also be said for time limits on remakes. Why remake a movie that only just came out? Case in point:

And

But, hey, I'm going to let this one off the hook. After all, it met every other thing I've been talking about on this list. It was new! In fact it was better than the original! The only complaint is what a slap in the face it was to the people who worked on the first one. I do understand why it was made, Marvel trying to set the record straight after the first 3 Spidermans fucked up the series' continuity. But that cannot be said for:

And

Now, I'm pretty harsh with romantic comedies and how they're always the same but seriously, these two movies are the exact same thing. So close to being the same, in fact, that I think it's fair to call Friends With Benefits a remake of No Strings Attached. If you don't believe me, seriously, just look at the tagline for No Strings Attached, or go ahead and watch them for yourself (I don't recommend doing that). These came out literally, within months of each other. How did we let this happen? Did people forget that they only just saw this movie? I'm utterly dumbfounded! And worst of all, they were both complete successes! So, good fucking job, humanity, you may as well just bend over and ask Hollywood to fuck you because you just told them that that works.

Humanity is Cartman now.

Trying to wrap all this up

Remakes should only exist to expand upon or fix up a dated film. They so often rather than introduce the old film to a new audience, cause a new generation to forget about the classics and further dig itself into the CG-loving, creativity-hating hole that it's in. Remakes are worse than sequels because there's even less imagination going on. At the very least, a sequel is a new plot, but a remake is just the same thing twice. They're the last downfall of creativity in cinema. Like I said, I don't always hate remakes, I just think there's a limit on what can/should be remade.

My 20 All-Time Favorite Movies

Here's something I've thought about doing for awhile. I fancy myself a bit of a movie buff, so, I find it necessary to figure this out. But, most people would admit, it's not easy to pick your favorite movies and even harder to order them but like I said, I thought about it for awhile. Of course, your favorite movies can always change, but at the very least I can say that my top 5 are definite and probably won't change much ever. They're movies that age well, and I can watch again and again. So, anyway, here's the list. Of course I recommend all of them. Be sure to catch these films before you die.

20. The Aristocats

My personal favorite of the Disney animated movies, the Aristocats is a simple story of a family of pampered cats meeting the lively and dangerous real world. After a disgruntled butler, after learning that the cats have been destined to inherit a fortune, he drives them far away and leaves them for dead; they're just trying to get home. Along the way, they meet a pair of bumbling dogs, some pompous geese and some jazzy tomcats, with the lead being the smooth talking Thomas O' Mally, voiced by Phil Harris. Every song is so memorable and the jazz theme is not unwelcome. It's the kind of thing you can dance to. I love how colorful each character is. The tomcats are always throwing a party and going insane. Equally lovable are the aristocrats Duchess, Berlioz and Toulouse. You root for these characters the entire time and seeing the butler get what's coming to him in the end is a satisfying conclusion.

19. Princess Mononoke

Studio Ghibli's captivating fantasy, Princess Mononoke is a film I only saw in recent years, but it's already solidified it's place on this list. At 2 hours and 20 minutes it's one of their longest films, but it's worth every minute. In the opening scene, we get a dark narration followed by a fight with a demon-boar. Damn, this movie wastes no time. Our protagonist, Ashitaka is infected by the demon and must seek healing from the Forest Spirit or it will kill him. 

That alone, is enough of a premise for a movie, but if that's not enough, Ashitaka also has to stop the conflict going on between humans of Iron town and the forest spirits which are highly intelligent animals. In the midst of this, is San and though she's never referred to as Princess Mononoke, she's what the title is referencing. She is a human living among the Wolf Tribe, the leader of which you may recognize as Gillian Anderson, better known as Scully from the X-Files. But I digress, after stopping an attempt to kill lady Eboshi, Iron Town's leader, San and Ahitaka begin to form a bond, but not in a way that feels Disney, but rather a way that feels Ghibli if you take my meaning. Speaking of Ghibli style, you may be surprised to find that this movie is not a family movie such as most Ghibli movies. To my knowledge, it is the only Ghibli film with a PG-13 rating. Many people would snub this movie because it's "weird," which is a terrible way to live if you ask me. Definitely worth the watch,  Princess Monoke is timeless and it's unforgettable.

18. Alien

Alien is what you get when you take an old b-movie and give it a big budget. It's a fantastically done sci-fi horror movie, set in the claustrophobic and dark Nostromo space ship. Sigourney Weaver plays the badass Ripley the character who established women in the sic-fi horror genre as more than just scream machines. Rather than run and yell when confronted with danger, Ripley get's right up in it's face. What so great is how intricate the alien is. It bleeds a potent acid, has a second mouth and just looks exactly like that thing from your nightmares. The famous alien reproduction is one of the highlights of the film, with the chest-burtsing  sequence acting as the shock moment. As the numbers of crew mates dwindle, the suspense increases and the alien always attacks the moment you're not expecting it. One of my favorite sic-fi flicks.

Damn, is that thing scary.

17. Jaws

All you need is to hear that score by John Williams and you know what you're dealing with. A killer shark. Like Alien, Jaws is essentially a big budget b-horror movie, resurrected for a more contemporary time. The first half of the movie is buildup while the second half is out on the boat hunting the shark. Roy Schieder, Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfus are all perfect in the roles. My favorite scene is when Roy is in the shark cage that's slowly being ripped apart trying to fight the shark with a fucking knife. It's such a terrifying and badass situation to be in that we as an audience can't sit still. The ending is so perfect, that after the climax of the film I stood up and cheered. If by some strange chance you haven't yet seen this movie, get on it.

How could I not use this pic?

16. T2

Out of all of the movies that warn of advancing technology this is indisputably the best. I like every Terminator movie, but it's no contest when I have to name my favorite it's T2. I first saw this movie at a young age and it scared the shit out of me initially. I had never seen anything so violent before, it was sort of scarring, but I liked the movie anyway.

 Watching it nowadays, I don't bat an eye, but that doesn't make it any less fun to watch. The special effects were unparalleled for the time, and I still think they're very impressive, it doesn't look cheap to me like most older movies with CG do. This movie is a prime example of CG used right, not overused, and implemented when needed. Every character ends up going through personal change, and you actually feel attached to Arnold in the role of the T800 as he learns what it is to be human.

15. The Kingdom

Hands down, my favorite war movie. The Kingdom may disappoint some viewers because it lacks an enormous amount of action, but that's not what the movie is about. It's about the message. Set in the present day conflict in the unstable Saudi Arabia, Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman are sent in to investigate after a terrorist attack on a family softball game. What they find there is a complex government and a hatred that runs deep. Along the way, they meet the lovable Colonel Faris Al Ghazi played by Ashraf Barhom, who is my favorite character. In end of this suspenseful film we are left with the message about hate. The movie leaves off with the same feud as before. Hate runs deep.

14. A Bug's Life

I didn't want to take up this entire list with Pixar movies, so to pick just one, I'd have to be A Bug's Life. This was one of my favorite movies from my childhood. It's an underdog story about the klutzy Flik, who is punished to go find "warrior bugs," a mission he is never expected to return from, after screwing the entire colony majorly and managing to get on a group of gangster grasshoppers, led by Hopper played by Kevin Spacey's, bad side. Flik travels to the bug city which is my favorite scene. I just love how much is going on all the time, and all the countless little details are just Pixar's signature. To everyone's surprise he returns to the colony with a comical group of insects without telling them they're going to be fighting to the death with grass hoppers and without Flik knowing they're actually circus performers rather than the hardened fighters he was expecting. In the end they have to accept their roles and Flik has to rise up and become a confident leader. It's a great movie no matter how you look at it. I loved it as a child and I love it now.

13. The Goonies

Anyone raised in the 80's remembers The Goonies. It's a film about a group of innocent but adventurous kids who set out to find a lost pirate treasure. It's hard not to love this movie just by watching it. Not only is it funny, but it sports lovable characters and is as charming as it is exciting. Obviously not a movie to be taken totally seriously. You really can get to love every character, because every one of them represents someone you know. Just watching all them interact is entertaining in itself and feels surprisingly natural which is rare for a movie with child actors. Whoever you are, you've gotta love The Goonies.

12. V for Vendetta

Here's one we can probably all agree on. It may surprise you to find out that this movie only has a handful of action sequences. It's really about rebellion against a corrupt system and while that may sound like something a liberal arts grad told you about, it makes sense when you see the state of the world in the movie. Set in the near future, Great Britain is under a communistic dictatorship when the mysterious masked V, voiced by Hugo Weaving, appears who vows to take it all down.

He set's out to give the government to the people again by fighting it all on his own. It follows the character Evee played by Natalie Portman. When the movie came out we were all expecting a comicky superhero film probably fighting some mutated villain, but what we got was a deep and involved story about a fight against an oppressive society. A great movie that has one of the best action sequences I've ever seen to climax it.

11. Law Abiding Citizen

Law Abiding Citizen, like V for Vendetta, is not about the action or the CG and in fact has very few action scenes at all. It's a movie about a broken man trying to send a message. Gerard Butler gives a phenomenal performance as Clyde and is dead serious throughout the film.

The movie opens with a disturbing scene where Clyde loses both his wife and his young daughter to burglars. One of the men is sentenced to death but the other man named Darby is able to walk free after spending just a short time in prison. Clyde feels that this is unjust and several years later seeks out the man and tortures him to death in a way that would make Jigsaw scream. What first starts out as what we assume to be a revenge scheme turns into a war against what Clyde believes is an unjust justice system. Jamie Foxx is great as Nick Rice who is the protagonist of the film. He was the lawyer for Clyde during the Darby trial and Clyde blames him partially for the outcome. Clyde begins killing off everyone involved in the trial but not in the classic slasher style. Clyde is able to orchestrate the deaths of people whiteout even being in the same room and it drives everyone crazy just trying to figure out how he's doing it. Until Nick goes to see the character Bray who tells him that Clyde is the master of covert killing. It's a really powerful film about corruption and revenge. We start to lose sight of who we are cheering for. You sympathize with Clyde but can only watch as he becomes the very thing he's trying to destroy. A very dramatic and extremely suspenseful movie.

10. Predator

Predator is what would happen if we were hunted the way we hunt animals, and while that may sound like some hippy preaching, it doesn't come off that way at all. We follow Arnold Schwarzenegger and his platoon into the jungle where they end up in guerrilla warfare, little do they know they're being watched. Each character get's picked off one by one until, classically, it ends up as one man verses the Predator in an action sequence that is beyond exciting. Gory as it may be, the movie is a must see for action sic-fi fans. Suspenseful throughout, predator is an awesome movie. Not to mention, that thing was a badass.

Seriously, how badass can one thing be?

9. The Big Lebowski

Easily the most quotable movie ever, The Big Lebowski is the quintessential stoner comedy and seems to be praised for being a great man movie. 

I'm not sure if I agree with that. I think The Big Lebowski is a movie to be enjoyed by anyone just because it's so damn funny. Jeff Bridges plays the laid back Lebowski or as he is famously referred to as, "The Dude." He's accompanied by the neurotic Walter played by the one and only John Goodman who is hilarious throughout the film. He's always flipping shit, referencing his service in Vietnam and in one scene goes so far as to pull a gun on someone over a dispute in a friendly game of bowling. These two are the perfect actors for the roles along with a few cameos including John Turturro as Jesus Quintana who's constantly hip thrusting the air and tee-bagging the bowling ball in a scene that serves almost no purpose at all. The movie is about Lebowski trying to solve a murder mystery but getting in way over his head. It's so funny because The Dude doesn't even know what he's doing half the time, he just sort of goes with whatever is happening.

 I don't know what it is but every single time I watch this movie I end up laughing my ass off, despite having seen it countless times.

8. The Rear Window

This is Hitchcock at his absolute best. Easily the best suspense movie I've ever seen. James Stewart is back with Hitchcock again, as the wheelchair bound photographer, Jeff. He's so board sitting in his chair all day, that he takes to spying on his neighbors and ends up beginning to suspect one of them of murder. What we as an audience see is limited to what he sees, so it's up to us to believe it or not. The movie is brilliantly shot and you can really see all kinds of action going on in different windows all at once. It's cinematography, on a level I've never seen rivaled. The mystery gets thicker and thicker until the final climax, which is exciting and pleasing. 

7. Back to the Future

There's no way you can't love Back to the future. This is a movie that has everything for anyone. With a perfectly written script that's always giving you hilarious a memorable dialogue but always advancing the plot, and a mind blowingly convoluted story, Back to the Future is a joy ride from beginning to end. The filmmakers could have left the movie off with Marty simply trying to get back to the present but that's not enough. Along with that, Marty has to fix the past he screwed up, and save his friend Doc, who for me steals the show along with Biff. Doc Brown is my favorite character. Christopher Loyd gives a comical performance as the Doc, always over analyzing everything and always with quick and explosive dialogue. Whenever he's on screen you can't take your eyes off of him, because he's constantly screaming his head off. Back to the Future is a classic movie. It's a great plot that comes to a satisfying full circle ending.

6. Raiders of the Lost Arc

When I was little, my dad showed me the first scene of this movie, the cave sequence, recorded on an old VHS tape. I was young so it terrified the shit out of me, but I loved it just the same. It wasn't until several years later that I found out there was more to the movie than just that one scene, and from then on it's been my favorite adventure movie.

Indiana Jones is, of course, a mashup of references to old westerns repackaged, but it feels so new. Harrison Ford gives a fantastic performance through the entire movie, always full of energy. Indy is such a lovable character, that you really want to see him survive until the end. It's the search for the Arc of the Covenant, the sought after key to power. The ending is among the most surprising I've ever seen, I mean, going into this movie, there is no way anyone would have guessed that it was coming. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arc, is a classic film and the ultimate adventure. I love it.

5. Harry Potter (Series)

Throughout my life, I've been into Harry Potter. Saying that is not unique, today it's a world wide phenomenon and you can't live on this planet without knowing what it is. I read every book as they came out and have been following the series faithfully through every movie. I had to include every film in this one entry, because the series should be enjoyed as a whole, you can't just like one Harry Potter movie. If you've seen the movies, then you can't not love the characters. For me and so many others, I feel like I've spent so much time with these characters through every film over the years that I feel like I know them as friends. Of course, my favorite actor is Alan Rickman as Snape. 

He gives an awesome performance throughout all eight films, always being the guy you love to hate until the very last movie when you find out he's been good all along. Harry Potter is this generation's Star Wars and for me, and millions of others, seeing the finale was as emotional as it was epic. Harry Potter is a series I will cherish always.

4. Jurassic Park

Back when I was a kid, I watched this movie almost every day. To me back then, it was my favorite thing (dinosaurs) on the big screen. The special effects were jaw dropping for the time; dinosaurs were more real than ever in this movie. Roaring, running and hunting, they were and are a real spectacle to watch. Now, I can comprehend the plot written by the best science fiction author since H.G. Wells, Michael Crichton. After watching this movie, I had to read every Crichton book ever. The plot is so simple but it's done so believably. What starts out as an amazing example of genetic engineering turns into horror when Newman sets the dinosaurs free. It's a great story of the dangers of trying to play God but besides that, it's just a fun movie all around.

3. Aliens

Almost a decade later, James Cameron picks up where Ridley Scott left off with Aliens. This movie deserves it's own spot because it's so radically different from the first Alien movie. It's the ultimate in Sci-Fi horror movie, depicting a terrifyingly dark and enclosed environment and an all out war against the Aliens. Sigourney Weaver reprises her role as Ripley, the badass woman who you don't wan't to mess with. After surviving the hell of the first movie, she is found years later and all she wants to do is stop the evil Wayne Tech from bringing the Aliens to Earth where they'll kill everyone. She's the only one who  has ever encountered the aliens and knows what they're capable of. I love how it totally goes against the alien movie norm and features a movie where we go to the aliens and we have the superior technology.

Like these fuckers right here.

 But what I really love about the movie is every time you think it's about to end, you turn around and it's back on with another action sequence. It's truly a non- stop, pulse pounding thrill ride that is mandatory for any Science Fiction buff. The best Alien contact movie ever made.

2. Star Wars

When I was a kid, my dad showed me a clip of the Obi-Wan vs. Darth Vader fight and I freaked out. I watched it over and over again, until I finally had a copy of the movie myself. It was on a VHS tape, and I watched it just about every day until the damn thing broke. I include the first three Star Wars Films in this list, but if I had to pick one, hands down, A New Hope. 

What George Lucas did to make this movie possible is incredible. The amount of stress and new special effects that were invented by him and overall what it did for cinema is very impressive. It turned it in a more positive direction during a time when most movies were gritty and violent. Star Wars is an undisputed classic which has to be loved by everyone. As much as I love it, I've never read any of the novels nor have I watched the Clone Wars T.V. show. To me, Star Wars is Star Wars, just the movies as it should be. This is a movie I can enjoy time and time again, and a movie I'll never get tired of.

1. Spirited Away

The movie starts and we see the bratty "scaredy-cat" girl Chihiro in the car with her parents on their way to see their new house. They end up getting a little lost and end up out in the woods in front of an old building.  They make their way through the tunnel entrance and find themselves in an abandoned town, but strangely find a hot buffet sitting ilde in a street side restaurant. Her parents begin to engorge themselves on the food and are turned into pigs. Suddenly, and with no explanation, the spirits come out. 

Over the course of the film, the spirit worlds inhabitants become increasingly attached to Chihiro as we do as an audience. She goes from being barely tolerated to a being a hero, she undergoes change from a scared, whiny child to a decent and brave girl. And Chihiro isn't the only one who changes. Just about every character, no matter how bad they seem at first comes around in the end. There's so much going on in this film, watching it is like stepping into a dream. In classic Ghibli style, much of the magic and spells are never really explained but that's just part of the charm. We don't need to know why it's important that Chihiro doesn't look back as she crosses the field to go back home, or why she needs to hold her breath as she crosses the bridge or why black slugs are bad luck, but instead, the lack of exposition makes the movie feel like there's so much more behind it. We just have to accept this world that's totally foreign and mysterious to us. 

This movie can be enjoyed for it's individual moments, such as the boiler room scene or the stink spirit scene, but my personal favorite scene is the train ride. The rest of the movie looks like an explosive acid trip and there's all kinds of stuff going on, but the train scene is a different kind of magic. In the beginning of the film, Chihiro rides in the car nervous and shaky, but the Chihiro riding the train is confident, bravely leading the timid No-Face. It's the turning point in her development and besides that, it's a beautifully surreal scene and it's a great contrast to the rest of the movie.

But besides all of that, Spirited Away is just a gorgeous film. Everything is so vibrantly animated, just looking at it makes me happy. It's a movie that could be watched on mute and could still be a wonderful experience. What you take away from Spirited Away differs from person to person. To me, it's that there's good inside everyone, anyone can change and there's always magic if you look in the right places.